Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Today I did something that I haven't done in a long time. I spent one on one time with my daughter. And it was a blast.

My son's best friend invited him to sleep over tonight. This is my son's first sleepover and to be honest, it couldn't have come at a better time. I am so thankful to our friends for extending the invitation. They are the kind of people I trust implicitly.

Right now my son lives in a world of females. Even the dog is a prissy girl. I think some independent time at his best friend's house with his best friend's family is exactly what he needs. I am very happy for him.

But my daughter? Well, not so much. She has wanted to sleep over a friend's house for years but we've just never gotten around to setting anything up. She's been telling everyone about how her brother is going on his first sleepover and, "He's three years younger than me!"

But I knew that once I picked her up from school (especially at the third grade car pool stop with her friends instead of the Kindergarten car pool stop with her baby brother) that she'd see the advantages of being one little brother short.

First we were able to go to her violin lesson with out her little brother tagging along. Then we headed to Arts on Fire and painted a dog dish as a birthday present for Buffy. Then we had dinner at The Boardwalk. And on a whim, we decided to go to a movie.

We saw The Game Plan starring The Rock. There is some marketing genius out there who realized the best way to get moms to bring their kids to a movie was to put a hot guy in it. (We'll also be seeing Enchanted with Patrick Dempsey this Thanksgiving!)

But this movie was all about fatherhood. I didn't think much about it when I bought the tickets, but by the half way point we both had tears in our eyes. My daughter cried through the whole second half of the movie. She's been doing so well during this deployment that sometimes I forget just how hard it must be on her. She is a sensitive child and a Daddy's girl.

Maybe her mom is a little sensitive too.

All in all, it was wonderful to spend some mother/daughter time with my very special little girl. She's growing up so fast, but she's growing up so well. I couldn't be more proud of her if I tried.

Reapply

I was just telling some friends this weekend that the longer my husband has been deployed, the more easily annoyed I have become.

But these last few days have proven to me that I'm starting to lose my other faculties too. The longer he has been away, the more scatterbrained I have become.

For example, I go into the bathroom and put on deodorant. I come out, walk around aimlessly for a moment, and then think, oh, I need to put on deodorant. And back to the bathroom I go.

I still have a little over three months before he comes home. If I don't pull it together soon I might be showing up for meetings in my bathrobe and curlers.

But at least I'll smell good.

Great Moments in Parenting, Part 1

We all have them. We all have those moments when we wonder how we were ever allowed to be parents at all.

When my daughter was in Kindergarten, my husband was deployed and my son was just getting the hang of potty training. One afternoon during my daughter's soccer game, my son had to use the bathroom. As most of us know, when a two-year-old says they have to use the bathroom, you run to the nearest toilet.

It was about that time that I had finally convinced my son to stand up to pee. He was proud of his new found skill, but I was in a rush.

He finished and leaned forward to flush without pulling up his pants. He slipped and was falling forward when, like any good parent, I grabbed him to keep him upright.

Except I overcompensated and overbalanced him. And I sent him head first into the toilet.

Yes, I gave my kid a swirly.

But it gets worse! Not only did his face get submerged, on the way down he knocked his cheek against the porcelain and ended up with a nasty gash. From the inside of a public toilet!

I did the best I could to clean him up, but I still had to walk back to all the other parents at the soccer game with a wet and bleeding child.

I'm still waiting for my mother of the year award to show up for that one.

Hannah Who?

Sometimes I can be a complete and total nut. I admit it. The truth is that I am stubborn. Once I decide that I want something, I will have it no matter what.

But sometimes my stubborn tendencies lead me to do crazy things.

Let me start at the beginning.

Last week when I arrived at the soccer field to pick my daughter up from practice I noticed that her whole team was clustered around their coach, listening intently. Except my daughter. She was sitting apart from the rest picking grass from the field one blade at a time.

Then the girls broke ranks and came screeching toward their parents. Their voices had reached that pitch that only dogs can hear, so I turned to my quiet daughter and asked, "Why weren't you listening to the coach with everyone else? What's wrong?"

"They were talking about getting tickets to Hannah Montana," my daughter informed me. "But I know you won't let us go."

"Hannah who?" I asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "It's some concert, I guess."

Apparently, my daughter is the only pre-teen girl in America who didn't know about the Hannah Montana tour.

Over the next few days, that name would turn up everywhere we went. At a birthday party that Saturday after tickets went on sale, one of my friends told me her tale of ticket woes. She shall remain nameless to protect her from her daughter's wrath.

She had signed on to Ticketmaster when the concert tickets went on sale and actually found tickets. But they weren't very good seats so she decided to search again. And, bam! They were sold out. In a matter of minutes.

My daughter's friends have been lamenting about not getting tickets these past few days. My daughter hasn't mentioned a thing. But since I couldn't sleep last night, I decided to do some research and see if I could find any resale tickets at a decent price.

Apparently, I can't. Have you seen the prices some people are selling these tickets for? I'm not about to pay a few thousand dollars for my little family to go to a concert. A trip to Disney, maybe. But a concert? No way!

However, while I was searching it occurred to me that I had recently been looking for tickets to a sold out show. We're going to New York City for Thanksgiving break and I had tried to get tickets to the newly opening The Little Mermaid on Broadway.

But before I even started looking at the astronomical prices on the resale sites, I decided to give Ticketmaster one last try.

And I found tickets! But they weren't very good seats so I decided to search again. And, bam!

You'd think I'd have learned!

Except instead of listing the show as sold out, Ticketmaster announced that the site was down due to routine maintenance.

It was about 1 a.m. by this point, but I just knew that those tickets were out there. And I knew that my baby girl who picks grass over Hannah Montana would be doing cartwheels over The Little Mermaid on Broadway!

I just couldn't go to bed and risk having those tickets go away. Especially for the matinee on the day before Thanksgiving. So I refreshed the page over and over. And over and over.

I ate some leftovers and refreshed. I watched Will & Grace reruns and refreshed. I flossed my teeth and refreshed.

And finally, at 3:15 this morning, there were my available tickets. And for only $81 each! That's a steal!

So my credit card is few hundred more dollars in debt this morning and my butt will be dragging through the weekend. But I have my tickets.

I was feeling a little superior to not be in on the Hannah Montana mania. Now I've been cut down to size. But if ever there was a child who deserved to be spoiled a little, it is my little girl. Not only has she been a trooper through her father's deployments but she has retained her sweet nature and eternal optimism. I hope she finds joy and happiness Under the Sea!

Off We Go

This past week the Air Force celebrated their 60th anniversary.

Happy Birthday, USAF!

I have a very clear memory of celebrating the 50th Air Force Anniversary on a Navy base. In September of 1997, we had just arrived at Pensacola Naval Air Station for aviation training. Living on a Navy base for two years gave us a huge understanding of the differences between the armed services. And made us appreciate the Air Force all the more.

Okay, inter-service rivalries are a long standing tradition. The Air Force takes more than its fair share of ribbing from the other services, mostly because we are relatively young. But I also believe there are some fundamental differences that set us apart.

I love being a part of the Air Force and I'm proud that my husband chose his service wisely. The traditions, attitudes and values of the Air Force are just a better fit for our family.

But as much as we all tend to highlight the differences between the services, I know that our common bonds outweigh any deep seeded rivalry. We all sacrifice. We all understand honor. We all understand what it really means to support a nation.

All service members, whether they are jar heads, squids, grunts or fly boys all leave behind the same things when they go to war. They leave behind wives, parents, children, families and friends who love them.

But this week is a week to celebrate those who serve in blue. For me especially, it is a week to celebrate one special Air Force member who spends all his time with Army and Navy people in Iraq. He's done his part for the last twelve years of the Air Force's sixty. Nothing can stop him.

And..."Nothing can stop the U.S. Air Force!"

Morning Slap Stick

I don't do mornings. To say that I am not a morning person is like saying that Angelina Jolie is not fat. It's an understatement.

But I have been struggling to find a time to fit exercise into the kids' day. I finally had to give in and admit that mornings are the right time for fitness.

So as part of our 21 Day Challenge, the kids and I awoke at the ungodly hour of 6 a.m. for a trek around our neighborhood.

Did you know that the sun isn't even up yet at six in the morning? I didn't.

Armed with flashlights and light clothing, we set out.

I'd say that we went for a walk but that wouldn't be accurate. What we went for was a walk, run, skip, stop, bounce off mom, jog, fall, walk again around the path near our house. Between my son's screeching sound effects and my daughter's constant worrying that we weren't allowed to be walking in the dark, they drove me crazy. It was like walking with a slap-stick comedy duo.

By the time I helped them cross the street back on to the sidewalk that leads to our house, I was ready to scream. I always knew that my kids were talkers, but this was ridiculous. I told them to run all the way home and took a breather.

By the time I got to my front steps, they were sitting there looking all cute and happy. I was overcome with the notion that I wouldn't spend the day in guilt and stress trying to find a time for them to exercise.

While drinking his water my son exclaimed, "That was fun, Mom. We should do that every morning!" Suddenly it was all worth it. Even if I did have to get up at before seven.

If we can keep this up, I'll be the proudest parent of a slap-stick comedy duo ever.

Three Months In

It's hard to believe that my husband has been deployed away from home for three months now. We would be half way to his homecoming if it weren't for the training he had to attend before being shipped out of the country.

The time has both crawled and flown.

But I have good news. We have slightly more official word (official-ish, if you will) that he should be home by February. Actually he tells me that he should be home in early to mid January but experience tells me it is better to give my heart some leeway and plan for late January.

A few weeks ago my son started telling everyone that his Daddy would be home after his December 20 birthday. So at least this return date fits in better with my son's plans.

I suppose that little has changed in this last month of being a waiting family. We're even more comfortable with our routine. The kids are doing well with our 21 Day Challenge but I'm struggling more than a bit.

I'm not really counting the days that he's been gone. I'm not even counting the days until his return. I'm just living day to day doing the best that I can. Some days I live hour to hour or even minute to minute. I've even had those blessedly few moments when I've lived breath to breath. But we all soldier on in relative happiness.

To be honest, I miss my husband a lot right now. But I'm trying to concentrate on the positive. Three months have gone by and we're all fine. I can't ask for much more.

Just Right

It is amazing to me how just the right things seem to come into your life in just the right way just when you need them.

Or maybe I am just especially lucky in life and love.

A couple of weeks ago when I was feeling down and a little isolated my friends and family came out of the woodwork to offer me support and a much needed boost to my morale. I appreciated every gesture of friendship, no matter how large or small.

Then this past week, when I was brought down by a bad cold, my friends seemed to sense my need and offer their help in the most tangible of ways. A dear friend took care of my kids for an afternoon and gave me an entire day to rest. My husband's friends have been working on getting his truck to start again.

It seems that just when I need something the most, there it is. Or to be more accurate, just when I need people the most, there they are.

I'm afraid to get used to this though. The most important lesson I have learned as a military spouse is to ask for help when I need it. That was the hardest lesson to learn too.

It makes me wonder...what have I done to deserve so much? I can't even begin to imagine but it must have been something dang good.

Now Starring Ugly Mommy

Yesterday I was flipping through the pages of Entertainment Weekly. Don't judge me! At least it wasn't US Weekly. My son glanced over my shoulder.

"That's a picture of you, Mom! You're in a magazine!" he exclaimed.

It was a picture of Ugly Betty.

Now I think the actress who plays Betty, America Ferrera, is absolutely beautiful. I loved her in Real Women Have Curves. But this was a picture of Betty at her full-on, braces flashing best.

"That's not me!" I replied in an exaggerated way to make him giggle. Our exchange caused my daughter to run over and see for herself.

"Mom, that says, Ugly Betty!"

"Um, I know, Honey."

"Well, you do look like her," my daughter reasoned. "Except that you're not ugly."

Gee, thanks.

Not to be left out, my son declared, "You're beautiful, Mom!"

Okay, I guess he dug himself out of that hole. But if one more person suggests I dress up as Ugly Betty for Halloween, I'm going to develop a real complex! This is slightly worse than when everyone said I should go as Monica Lewinsky.

21 Day Challenge

My son is Star of the Week at school right now. On Monday we sent in a little interview sheet I helped him complete and a few "growing up" pictures.

So on Sunday I was pouring through the picture files on our computer looking for just the right shots. I realized two things.

First, like every second child in existence, there are way fewer pictures of him as a baby than of his sister. I feel a bit bad about it, but I do have an excuse. He was born just after September 11, 2001 and his father was deployed for most of his baby years. I was too busy chasing after a baby and a toddler to take pictures. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Second, the three of us have gotten so out of shape!

I knew we had, but to see it right there in photographic evidence was hard. I feel tremendous guilt for letting all of us get to this point. I think I was deeply in denial about our fitness levels and I was too comfortable using food as comfort to really confront the issue.

But I can't let it slide any more.

I have instituted a new program here in our house. I'm calling it our 21 day challenge. And this is day 1.

I've read that it takes 21 days to develop a habit. So we are committing ourselves to good habits for the next three weeks. We're eating healthy breakfasts and dinners at home. We're getting at least thirty minutes of exercise every day. We're also going to be sure to keep the good routines we already have in place like daily violin practice, dedicated homework time, firm bedtimes, and good oral hygiene.

I feel like I have made these resolutions before but never stuck with them. I'm honestly afraid to share my plans with anyone because I fear failing at them yet again. But we've reached a point break and something must happen now.

How did day 1 go? Well, great for the kids but not so great for me. I woke up sick and ditched my plans to go to the gym. I also ditched my plans to shop for healthy food and dined on peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast and lunch.

I could so easily fall into a pit of despair and self hatred right now. But I refuse. I have to do this for my kids.

Day 2 will be better than day 1. I have goals. I will succeed. For their sake and for mine.

A Day at the Zoo

I love my husband more than Godiva chocolate (which is saying a lot) but he is a bit of a homebody. So when he is deployed, I try and take the opportunity to get out and do some things.

For the last couple of weekends I've been trying to get the kids to Caldwell Zoo in Tyler, Texas. Between the questionable weather and an unfortunate grounding incident, we didn't make it until yesterday. But our little day trip couldn't have turned out more perfect.

Caldwell Zoo is such a wonderful place. I've been to the San Diego Zoo and Animal Kingdom at Disney. Although they are lovely zoos, they can be just too big and overwhelming for a mom and her two little kids. I've also been to the Central Park Zoo, which is lovely, but we saw the entire place in less than thirty minutes.

The Caldwell Zoo is the perfect size. The prices are more than reasonable and the entire place is well-planned and well cared for. It's worth the trip on I-20.

If you go, I suggest starting your trek toward the left through the South American section. This will ensure that as you meander clockwise around the zoo most of your walking will be downhill. We always stop at the cafe and eat lunch overlooking the African animals. We timed things perfectly to be at the penguin feeding at 2 o'clock. Don't forget to bring some quarters and a little cash to feed the water fowl and the birds in the Wild Bird Walkabout aviary.

My kids had a blast this trip. They are almost always very good about appreciating these kinds of outings.

My daughter was especially happy because she loves animals. She was naming each species before we even had a chance to read the signs. And I'm talking about animals I've never even heard of. I have no idea where she gets all of this information. I guess all those books she reads under the covers are paying off.

Just as we were headed to the van to leave after a lovely two hour visit we heard the first rumblings of thunder. I love it when things work out so well.

For more information on the Caldwell Zoo, click here for their official website. Check out their programs page for information of free admission with a recycled phone book on September 29 and 30.

This Girl Doesn't Lie

Since my husband has been deployed, I've noticed that my daughter seems to need my approval more than ever.

She's always been the kind of child who is eager to please adults, especially her parents. But since I'm the only parent around right now (and she knows I report to her favorite parent) she seems to be highly aware of my reactions to every little thing.

I've especially noticed this before and after her violin lessons this week. She can't seem to stop looking at me and asking what I think. "How did I do, Mom?" She's never really asked that before.

But yesterday while she was practicing a particularly difficult passage at home, she was staring right at me instead of at her fingers or bow.

"Why are you looking at me?" I asked her.

She didn't reply but started the passage over again. But she wasn't half way through when she looked up at me again.

"Do I have music notes on my face?" I asked her as I rubbed my nose and tried to get her to lighten up just a little.

She giggled and went back to playing her passage. Within moments her eyes floated back up to my face again.

I was getting a little exasperated. "Honey!" I implored, "Why do you keep looking at me?"

"I can't help it," she replied. "You're just so attractive."

That's my girl. Desperate for approval and a suck up. Maybe someday she'll make a great politician.

My Mop Can Tell Time

Today my kids stayed after school for their first art class of the year.

I felt weird all day knowing that I didn't even have to leave the house to pick them up until 4 o'clock. I felt like I was shirking my parental responsibilities.

But I wasn't the only one who felt uneasy. At about 2:30 when I would normally be leaving the house, the dog started pacing by the front door. By 3:15 when we would normally be home, she started barking at the front door. By the time I left at 4:00 she was in a downright tizzy.

I didn't even think she liked the kids that much.

Have I mentioned Buffy the Wonder Puppy before? No? Well, you must meet her.

She is five pounds of fluff and attitude with pink bows. And she needs a haircut.

How to Honeymoon in Texas

I personally think one of the hardest things about being a military family is the challenge of planning.

Many, many things in life need to be planned in the long term, but we just never know where we'll be in the future. It's hard, if not impossible to plan things like summer vacations, trips to Disney, school and career goals. And weddings.

Way back in the dark ages when my husband and I were first engaged he was an R.O.T.C. cadet. For the three years prior, every graduating senior and freshly minted second lieutenant had been forced to wait at least a year before they reported to their first duty station.
So when we planned our wedding for August 27, 1995, three months after college graduation, we thought we'd be safe. I started planning the wedding almost two years before it was scheduled to take place, but I still had to settle for a Sunday wedding in order to book both the church and the reception hall on the same day.

As we were both preparing to graduate in May of 1995 we were on pins and needles waiting to see what his initial orders would say. I was both excited and fearful about where we could be sent. Back then being sent overseas seemed like a fate worse than death. Now, I would kill for the opportunity.

But it isn't the destination I should have been worrying about. It was the timeline. Days before his graduation we found out. We were going to New Mexico. And he was to report no later than June 15.

Well, there went my school girl dreams of a perfect summer leading up to a perfect wedding. But all was not lost. He could certainly fly home for the weekend to get married. Right?

That was not to be either. He ended up being sent TDY to training in Texas for most of July, August and September. Still, in my naiveté, I thought we could work it out. We'd spent two years and thousands of dollars on a wedding. Of course the groom had to be present.

I don't remember when it was that he told me he couldn't come, but I do remember just about losing it. I cried. I yelled. I wailed. But only to my husband. I figured if I was going to have to cancel or change my plans, I was going to be classy about it. At least as far as anyone else would know.

But my wailing put his guilt into overdrive and he begged and pleaded the powers-that-be to let him take off for the weekend. He somehow got permission to fly home Friday afternoon after classes. But he had to be back Monday morning. Since we had planned a Sunday afternoon wedding, this would mean that he couldn't make the reception.

I have to admit that I was devastated. I resolved to play the part of the happy bride no matter what, but I was heartbroken. I'm ashamed to say that on that Thursday night before my wedding, I sobbed and cried to my soon-to-be husband on the phone. I wanted things how I wanted them. I was the bride, after all. And I wanted my groom there to cut the cake, dance badly, and whisk me away to our non-existent honeymoon.

He felt so bad hearing me cry that way that he told me a secret. He had a surprise for me. His classmates had somehow convinced those powers-that-be that they could catch him up on Monday afternoon and he was given permission to stay Sunday night.

I was so happy. But I couldn't help but ask, "How long have you known about this?"

"A couple of weeks," he answered to his own peril. I had been devastated for so long! How could he keep that from me?

He had more of a surprise for me though. He had booked me on the flight to return with him. And that is how I ended up spending my honeymoon with the cockroaches in the officers' quarters on beautiful Sheppard Air Force Base, Texas.

If I had known then what I know now...if I could have started my Air Force wife career with the experience of a veteran Air Force wife, I would have handled it all differently. But then maybe I wouldn't have gotten my glamorous honeymoon. And that would have been tragic.

Brand New Toys

Isn't it funny how you can totally go overboard once you decide to loosen the purse strings a little?

I did that this weekend. Since my husband took our camera to Iraq, I have been trying to scrimp and save to buy myself a new one. I hadn't gotten very far but I suddenly found myself with a little extra cash in our account.

I told myself I deserved a little reward, so the kids and I marched on over to Best Buy. I was probably the easiest sale the camera department had all day. I knew exactly what I wanted and just pointed to it. "I want that."

I was already in love with my brand new Canon PowerShot SD 750 before I even had the battery charged. It is so cute and small! It fits right in my purse but still takes awesome shots.

I had secretly planned to take the kids to the Caldwell Zoo to try out my new camera. But the weather forecast predicted a 50% chance of rain, so we headed to the Boardwalk instead.

I'm not normally a big picture-taker but today I was shooting pictures and video left and right.

Somehow my treating us to a new camera, a movie, a carousel ride and lunch out turned into me treating the kids to Build-a-Bear accessories and brand new Shining Star stuffed animals too.

The couple of extra hundred dollars I had in my account are now more than gone. But I have two freshly spoiled kids and dozens of pictures to share with my husband.