My Daughter Speaks

Last night at my son's t-ball game, it started to rain just a bit.

My daughter kept asking if she could go to the car and look for an umbrella. In exasperation I finally told her, "You're not going to melt. You're not made of sugar!"

To which she responded, "If I were any sweeter I would be."

I can only shake my head.

Of the Devil, I Swear

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I did something we swore we'd never do.

We bought the kids Nintendo DS games.

I don't remember which one of us came up with the idea, but for the sake of argument let's say it was my husband. (I will when I complain about it for the next few years.) He said, "They're good kids. We have so much traveling to do. They need something to keep them busy while we're house hunting."

All those things might be true, but I think we were more enticed by all the really quiet children playing handheld video games at the Orlando airport. The terminal was filled with kids and every one of them from about four-years-old on up was playing a Nintendo or PSP. The silence was eerie, but...peaceful.

So we were a video-game-free family for more than eight years. But now we've gone over to the dark side.

At first, the games didn't bring us much peace anyway because the kids were constantly asking for help. Since I've been video-game-free since the days of Pac Man, I wasn't much help. But once they got the hang of things, well, it really was nice for them to have something to do while we were meeting with Realtors and Lawyers.

But it was during our long layover in Dallas on our way home last week that I snapped.

Oh, wait. Did I not mention that when my husband went out to buy the two Nintendo DS games, he also bought himself a PSP? Yeah. He did.

I spent almost seven hours in the Dallas airport staring at the top of the three heads I love most in the world. They were gone. Lost in their own little worlds. Aliens might as well have sucked out their brains.

I decided right then and there that the Nintendo games would go away when we got home. They will be for plane rides only.

It's funny though. The games have been sitting on a table by the front door since we got home and the kids haven't touched them once. My husband is another story.

I may not be able to put down my foot and take his PSP away from him like I can with the kids. But I can nag him to death about how much I hate it.

Too bad his brain was sucked out and he's not listening to me anyway.

Signage

I got my sunglasses caught in my hair today and pulled out a little chunk of about 8 or 9 hairs.

And half of them were gray.

When the heck did that happen?

I'm not going to see it as a sign of getting old but as a sign that I need to de-stress. It's not the only sign I've received lately.

Yesterday I reached into the bathroom cabinet and an avalanche of unused products fell out. But it was the Eye Stress Gel that hit me right between the eyes.

Message received. I look tired and old. I feel tired and old. I'm going to bed early tonight.

The packing can wait.

Things Decided

I feel like a completely different person now.

I hadn't even realized it, but for years the questions of what school we'd send the kids to next and what kind of house we'd be able to afford when we move have been on my mind. I guess it's just part of being a military wife. You always know you'll move eventually. And you always wonder what your new life will be like.

But for the next chunk of my life, those questions have been answered. Even if the answers aren't perfect, it feels so good to know.

I have a little game I play with the kids whenever they need a distraction. (Distraction techniques are probably 85% of good parenting.) I ask them what their most favorite things were about that day, event or trip.

On our way home from our house hunting/school finding trip my son's favorite thing was spending the day at his new school. My daughter's favorite thing was finding the "perfect" house.

That's a pretty good summary of our trip to Virginia.

First of all, we visited two schools. The kids took tests and had tours of each school and they spent the day at one. It's funny because the school I had an ehh feeling about the last time we visited ended up being the school I had the best feeling about this time around. Considering that it has a 25% acceptance rate, I just felt like it was kind of weird that they seemed so eager to have us.

They are lacking in a couple of programs that we're used to, like violin lessons, class musicals, and computer lab time for first graders. But when it comes right down to it, I think the kids' personalities fit better there. In fact, it just feels like we're a perfect fit. Maybe the reason they are so eager to have us is because they can sense it too.

All three of the schools we visited in the last few months have been great. But we decided to choose the second school we visited. In the end, it turned out that it was the only school that had room for both kids, so maybe it was just meant to be.

I cannot even explain how relieved and happy I am.

Now we just need to come up with the down payment. The tuition numbers make me feel a little queasy. But it's worth it.

Speaking of money, our mortgage numbers are making me a little queasy too.

We looked at almost thirty houses in two days. Thirty! That's insane. Unfortunately, at least five of them got sold right out from under us. We've been looking at these same houses sitting on the market for months, and once we get out there to start looking, they start selling like hotcakes. It was a bit frustrating.

In the end, of the thirty houses we saw (that weren't sold) only one really fit our needs. It was a house that I've had my eye on for months, based mostly on its location and the huge backyard. If all goes well with the VA appraisal, it will be ours on May 15.

It's funny because whenever I talked to locals about where we should live or go to school, they kept explaining to me the different cultures of Norfolk versus Virginia Beach. It seemed strange to me that two towns so close to each other could be so different. But they were right. The problem was I wasn't really sure if we were Norfolk-type people, or Virginia Beach-type people.

Now I know. We're beach people. Through and through.

Like the kids, I have a favorite moment from our trip too. On our last day there, we went to the school to buy the kids' summer workbooks. While we were in the bookstore, two little girls came rushing in with their arms open to hug my daughter.

"I'm going here!" she told them. And they hugged harder. The smile I saw on my daughter's face as she spotted her new friends...it's going to stay with me for a long time.

Hung Up and Headed Out

When I was a kid, my parents made me go to school every single day. Unless I was throwing up (which I never did) I had to go to school. For years, I had perfect attendance.

I think responsibility is a very important concept to teach. And I thank my parents for helping to mold me into the extremely responsible person I am today. But my strict upbringing did have one drawback.

I developed a weird hang-up about missing things. I hate to miss things. I never skipped a class in college or called in sick a day to work. I just can't stand the thought of my world going on without me.

This next week or so, the kids and I will be missing a lot. A lot! Our world will be rolling right along without us. I have to admit, it has me all tied up in knots.

My husband finally has his official orders. He has to be ready to work in Virginia in June, which means that we need to go house hunting soon. Now, actually. Plus, the kids are going to go spend a day at each of the schools we are still considering.

It is an important reason to miss school and it just can't be helped. But I can't help thinking about the three softball games, t-ball game, play auditions, soccer games, birthday parties, class work and homework we'll be missing! Ack!

But we're flying out bright and early tomorrow morning for a week of checking out what will soon be our new home. I'm unbelievably excited. But until I'm on that plane, my hang-up about missing things is going to have me tied in knots.

Sometimes, it's a wonder my husband can put up with me at all.

Little Boy Kryptonite

I have discovered little boy Kryptonite. I have discovered the one thing that can stop any little boy no matter what his path. I have discovered... (drum roll, please)

Mommy tears.

To say that we've been having a difficult time with my son lately is a bit of an understatement. We're trying to take care of a little routine medical problem, but it is affecting his sleep. And Major Boy needs his sleep!

Lately I have been finding him asleep in the oddest places. I'll leave him alone for just a moment and he'll fall asleep eating dinner. (Buffy the Wonder Puppy finished that up for him.) I'll turn around for just a second and he'll fall asleep on the playroom floor amidst all of his Lego’s. This afternoon he fell asleep during a concert!

The boy is tired. This is a kid who normally sleeps eleven hours straight every night. This fatigue is killing him.

In his very worst moments, he can be obstinate and stubborn anyway. He's going through a phase where he can't seem to see any one's needs beyond his own. He's prideful and he enjoys arguing. Add exhaustion to that mix and we are at wit's end.

We had such a wonderful time at Disney World, but we did have one bad episode. While we were waiting for a parade to start in the Magic Kingdom, he hit his limit. He cried and wailed, but we were saving seats for my daughter and husband and I didn't feel like we could leave. When my husband got back and he didn't desist, Daddy took matters into his own hands. He scooped him up and left for the hotel.

I have to admit, I cried. Here we were, in the happiest place on Earth, and I just had my husband and son storm off and leave us behind.

This afternoon after a particularly difficult "I don't wanna leave!" moment at the mall, my husband was so angry it broke my heart. I sent my son off to bed and gave him a bit to cool down. Then I went upstairs to have a talk.

I swear I didn't mean to, but once I said to him, "Remember when you cried and cried at the parade and Daddy took you back to the hotel?" I started to tear up again. As I explained to him how sad those moments made me, he teared up too.

I have never been one to manipulate my children emotionally. But in trying to explain to him how Mommy and Daddy respond to things differently, we both succumbed to real emotion.

When I started to tell him how much we love him and how I know that he is a very special little boy I really started to cry. This kid can just kill me.

I could see it in his eyes. Something clicked for him tonight. For the first time ever, I think he really realized what it meant to be sorry.

At least I hoped it clicked. My heart just can't take any more of these episodes. Especially when they flare up in the midst of so much joy and love. Only time will tell if this Little Boy Kryptonite made any difference at all.

For Our Musicians

Music brings many beautiful and wonderful things into our lives. It has been true since the beginning of time. The people who create music are a truly special breed, particularly those who spend years and years studying a craft and even passing the skills and love of that craft onto children.

Personally, music doesn't just touch our family's life. It is a foundation, a root, a core of the way we live. Since they were babies, we have done our best to expose and teach our children about music and I truly believe that my kids' intelligence, love of math and exceptional creativity are a direct result of our efforts.

Furthermore, musicians have made an indelible impact on our family, particularly musicians from the Shreveport Symphony Orchestra and the Centenary Suzuki School.

Violin lessons aren't just one more of the many activities we pursue. Our study of violin is an inherit part of the value-based way we have planned to raise our children. Their Suzuki teachers haven't just taught them the difference between a sharp and a flat. They have taught them about discipline, joy, commitment and even love.

One of my proudest moments as a parent was at an orientation for parents new to the Suzuki program. The director Laura Crawford asked each of my children to play a solo, just as an example of what can be expected of a young Suzuki student.

Before my son began to play, Ms. Crawford stood before the group and said, “For those of you who wonder what a little boy can really do in violin, this is it.”

My kids don't just enjoy playing violin at home. They revel in the chance to get up on stage and play in front of adults and peers. As a parent it is absolutely amazing to sit back and watch your children shine with such self-confidence.

That is a gift from their teachers. It is a gift that will serve my children well as we move across the country and find roots in a new hometown.

Most of the Centenary Suzuki School teachers are also musicians with the Shreveport Symphony Orchestra. I was so distressed to hear about the drastic pay cut for the symphony players that has been in the news. I believe that it is a proposed 75% pay cut!

I would hate to see Shreveport lose its wonderful symphony, but I can't imagine why a musician would stay here to play when they can move on to a place where they can afford to live on their salary. Not only would Shreveport lose a talented group of artists, it would lose a part of it's culture. Great cities don't stay great when the artists start to flee for better prospects.

But even more, I would hate to see our children lose such a valuable resource. Symphony musicians and Suzuki teachers have been part of the village to raise our children. Words like beautiful and wonderful can't even begin to describe the contributions they have made to our children's lives.

Report Card Day

Wednesday was report card day for my kids. And today were parent-teacher conferences for us.

When I was in Elementary school, I remember report card days as some of the best days of the year. I always got all A's (maybe due more to the mediocre school system I attended than any diligence on my part) and I was always rewarded. Five bucks from grandma. A trip to grandma's to pick up my five bucks from my parents. I was always excited to get my report card and never anxious. At least not until high school geometry came along.

But I always get a little anxious when my kids get their report cards. There is always something. They're great kids with great spirits. They are both bright and engaging, but they aren't perfect. And to me these report card/evaluation times always feel like a time to highlight our faults as parents. Or to be more honest, they highlight to me my faults as a mother.

That's not to say that my kids' teachers make me feel this way. The exact opposite is true. My self doubt is all self imposed. I know it. I can say it over and over again. I never claim my kids' successes as my own. So why do I claim their failures?

Perhaps I am especially sensitive right now. Because we are applying to private schools in a new part of the country, my children have been objectively and subjectively evaluated more closely than ever.

Reading or hearing about the wonderful recommendations my kids' teachers sent the new school is heartwarming. Having some admissions director I've barely met tell me that my son is hard to understand and my daughter is mediocre at math stings more than a little. This whole process is gut wrenching.

But these evaluations at report card time always yield a few surprising gems. Amazingly, my daughter doesn't appear to be immature anymore. She no longer cries at the drop of a hat. And my son? Apparently, he is quite the singer. I seriously had no idea. Sure I've heard him sing here and there, but I had no idea that he has a "lovely" voice. Don't all six-year-olds sound the same?

One of the challenges of being a military family is moving the children from one school system to another. It feels like they need to prove themselves all over again. But moving can be an opportunity too. We're all starting fresh, the kids included.

Who knows what the next year of report cards will bring.

Our Week of Dreams

Well, my husband gave away the Disney World surprise when we were in the security line at the airport. As he was getting situated, he handed my daughter the boarding passes to hold.

Um, Honey? She can read, you know.

As soon as she saw the word Orlando, she knew where we were headed. "We're going to Disney World!" My son somehow managed not to hear her. But when she kept repeating that she knew where we were going, we finally told him.

"Oh, yay," he said. I somehow hoped for a bigger, "Yay!" after the money we spent.

But our trip could not have gone better. The weather was perfect. We only had a couple of glitches in our planning. And we were able to rest a little everyday between riding attractions and seeing big firework shows.

For the first time in a long time, I was actually sad to see a vacation end. Of course, I had to come home to mortgage applications, packing and dealing with leaving our Shreveport/Bossier lives behind. That may have something to do with it.

Now I'm feeling the time crunch. We'll depart from here as soon as school is over for the year. There is a big part of me that would love to escape back to Never Never Land. Being a grown up is hard work.