Mom First

A friend of mine just became an uncle to two tiny, twin baby girls. Seeing the pictures of the sweet babies in their incubators at the NICU has brought back memories for me of when my twin nephews were born.

Almost eight years later the details have become fuzzy. I think they were born at 32 weeks, but maybe it was 34. But what I remember most about visiting them in the NICU is a feeling of being very fortunate.

My daughter was eight months old at the time. She had been a bit premature herself, born at 36 weeks. But she never went to the NICU. She never had tubes coming out of her face or needles in her tiny head. She weighed six pounds and three ounces when she was born. She had her struggles with jaundice and feeding, but by her two week checkup she was fine.

Compared to the twins, she looked so huge!

We were very lucky.

Because my brother is four years older than me, I guess I always thought I'd be an aunt before I was a mom. But I ended up getting married first and it all just worked out that way. In fact, my parents were visiting my newborn when we all found out that my brother and his wife were pregnant.

I have lots of friends who just love being aunts and uncles. But it wasn't that way for me. I was a mom first, and my nephews (I have three now) and my kids are close in age. I can never be the spoiler; I have to be the mom first. Plus, I live far away. One of the twins is my godson, but I've never felt like I can treat him special because their mother is very invested in keeping things even for the twins.

The twins turn eight next month and it is hard to believe that they were ever teeny, tiny, little humans in incubators. If I could give my new uncle friend any advice it would be this.

Savor every second. They grow up quickly. Soon the tubes will be gone and the constant worry about their weight will be a thing of the past. Help your sister as much as you can. She'll need it. And never, ever let those kids forget that you're their uncle.