How to Honeymoon in Texas

I personally think one of the hardest things about being a military family is the challenge of planning.

Many, many things in life need to be planned in the long term, but we just never know where we'll be in the future. It's hard, if not impossible to plan things like summer vacations, trips to Disney, school and career goals. And weddings.

Way back in the dark ages when my husband and I were first engaged he was an R.O.T.C. cadet. For the three years prior, every graduating senior and freshly minted second lieutenant had been forced to wait at least a year before they reported to their first duty station.
So when we planned our wedding for August 27, 1995, three months after college graduation, we thought we'd be safe. I started planning the wedding almost two years before it was scheduled to take place, but I still had to settle for a Sunday wedding in order to book both the church and the reception hall on the same day.

As we were both preparing to graduate in May of 1995 we were on pins and needles waiting to see what his initial orders would say. I was both excited and fearful about where we could be sent. Back then being sent overseas seemed like a fate worse than death. Now, I would kill for the opportunity.

But it isn't the destination I should have been worrying about. It was the timeline. Days before his graduation we found out. We were going to New Mexico. And he was to report no later than June 15.

Well, there went my school girl dreams of a perfect summer leading up to a perfect wedding. But all was not lost. He could certainly fly home for the weekend to get married. Right?

That was not to be either. He ended up being sent TDY to training in Texas for most of July, August and September. Still, in my naiveté, I thought we could work it out. We'd spent two years and thousands of dollars on a wedding. Of course the groom had to be present.

I don't remember when it was that he told me he couldn't come, but I do remember just about losing it. I cried. I yelled. I wailed. But only to my husband. I figured if I was going to have to cancel or change my plans, I was going to be classy about it. At least as far as anyone else would know.

But my wailing put his guilt into overdrive and he begged and pleaded the powers-that-be to let him take off for the weekend. He somehow got permission to fly home Friday afternoon after classes. But he had to be back Monday morning. Since we had planned a Sunday afternoon wedding, this would mean that he couldn't make the reception.

I have to admit that I was devastated. I resolved to play the part of the happy bride no matter what, but I was heartbroken. I'm ashamed to say that on that Thursday night before my wedding, I sobbed and cried to my soon-to-be husband on the phone. I wanted things how I wanted them. I was the bride, after all. And I wanted my groom there to cut the cake, dance badly, and whisk me away to our non-existent honeymoon.

He felt so bad hearing me cry that way that he told me a secret. He had a surprise for me. His classmates had somehow convinced those powers-that-be that they could catch him up on Monday afternoon and he was given permission to stay Sunday night.

I was so happy. But I couldn't help but ask, "How long have you known about this?"

"A couple of weeks," he answered to his own peril. I had been devastated for so long! How could he keep that from me?

He had more of a surprise for me though. He had booked me on the flight to return with him. And that is how I ended up spending my honeymoon with the cockroaches in the officers' quarters on beautiful Sheppard Air Force Base, Texas.

If I had known then what I know now...if I could have started my Air Force wife career with the experience of a veteran Air Force wife, I would have handled it all differently. But then maybe I wouldn't have gotten my glamorous honeymoon. And that would have been tragic.