Two Months In
I just realized today that my husband has been deployed for two months so far. Two whole months.
Unfortunately not all of that time counts towards the six months he will be deployed overseas because some of that time was spent in training. But still, two months into this journey sounds like a good time to stop and take stock of how we're doing.
In a nutshell, we're doing fine. I just don't know what other words I could use to describe the state of my family. We're fine. We're not great. We're not awful. We're just...fine.
Now that the kids are back in school I have been running into a lot of people who want to know how we're doing. I appreciate everyone's concern so much but I often don't know what to say.
At times it seems like the days and weeks are flying by. I can't seem to get everything done. I feel like I'm running out of time.
But then there are moments when it feels like time is dragging. I feel like I am dragging us all through a muddy bog of denial and distraction. There are times, especially when the kids are asleep and the house is quiet when I feel like I am only marking time. I am only existing in a void until I can come alive again.
It takes a lot of energy to be normal. But at the same time I am amazed at just how normal and unaffected I have been. There has been so much to distract us from my husband's absence. There have been so many changes of scenery. There has been so much to look forward to.
I know from experience that this is the easiest part of a deployment, if any part of the experience can be considered easy at all. When you're about a third of the way in, you start to settle into a routine. He hasn't been gone so long that you miss him with a constant ache. You have yet to see how their father's absence has effected your children.
But you know those times are coming. The last half of a deployment can be difficult. Right now, while I'm feeling pretty good about how everything has gone so far, I need to store up energy to deal with the hard times ahead.
It will get worse before it gets better. This I know for sure.
We will be fine. We're always fine. It's who we are. This is the life we live.
It's two months into my husband's deployment and I'm going to stop, just for a moment, and give myself credit. I've made it this far. And fine is pretty darn good.
Unfortunately not all of that time counts towards the six months he will be deployed overseas because some of that time was spent in training. But still, two months into this journey sounds like a good time to stop and take stock of how we're doing.
In a nutshell, we're doing fine. I just don't know what other words I could use to describe the state of my family. We're fine. We're not great. We're not awful. We're just...fine.
Now that the kids are back in school I have been running into a lot of people who want to know how we're doing. I appreciate everyone's concern so much but I often don't know what to say.
At times it seems like the days and weeks are flying by. I can't seem to get everything done. I feel like I'm running out of time.
But then there are moments when it feels like time is dragging. I feel like I am dragging us all through a muddy bog of denial and distraction. There are times, especially when the kids are asleep and the house is quiet when I feel like I am only marking time. I am only existing in a void until I can come alive again.
It takes a lot of energy to be normal. But at the same time I am amazed at just how normal and unaffected I have been. There has been so much to distract us from my husband's absence. There have been so many changes of scenery. There has been so much to look forward to.
I know from experience that this is the easiest part of a deployment, if any part of the experience can be considered easy at all. When you're about a third of the way in, you start to settle into a routine. He hasn't been gone so long that you miss him with a constant ache. You have yet to see how their father's absence has effected your children.
But you know those times are coming. The last half of a deployment can be difficult. Right now, while I'm feeling pretty good about how everything has gone so far, I need to store up energy to deal with the hard times ahead.
It will get worse before it gets better. This I know for sure.
We will be fine. We're always fine. It's who we are. This is the life we live.
It's two months into my husband's deployment and I'm going to stop, just for a moment, and give myself credit. I've made it this far. And fine is pretty darn good.
Labels: challenges, deployment, family, husband, life at home, military, waiting, wife
posted by Major Mom at 8:35 AM
Karen is a military wife and stay-at-home mother to a seven-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son. A Boston native who’s lived in the Shreveport-Bossier area for eight years, she spends most of her time volunteering at her kids’ school, supporting her husband, playing with her friends and watching her hair turn gray. In between, she writes about her life here on her blog.
4 Comments:
Hello Karen! I love your blog! I found it on RedRiverMoms...I'm an Air Force wife (and SAHM to two boys, ages 6 and 4)who just so happens to live near where you are from. We are stationed at Hanscom, but will be moving to Barksdale in Nov, really close to our hometown in TX. Thanks for sharing...I'll be sure to read it often. Jen
We just had our two month milestone also- Kids go back to school here in 8 days- but who's counting?
Glad to hear you are doing well!
Jen: Thanks! We loved living near Hanscom. I worked there all through college. But I'm sure you'll love it here too!
special k~toni: Yay for two months! I counted down to the first day of school starting in June. ;-) I hope you're doing well.
How neat Karen! You might have even worked here when we were stationed here the first time (I also worked on base before I was a mom). We keep making a big circle...now back to Barksdale! :)
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