Coffee Talk

Tonight I partook in what some consider to be a long standing military tradition. I went to a spouses' coffee.

My non-military friends love my stories of coffees over the years. They have an image of perfectly-coifed, perfectly-mannered women sitting around in fifties style dresses and white gloves sipping from dainty china. That couldn't be further from the reality.

For one thing, I've never actually seen coffee consumed at a coffee. At least half of us wear jeans. (Shocking, I know.) Our conversations run the gambit from our husbands and kids to sexual deprivation and reversed vasectomies, depending on the crowd. And as far as manners go...well, I once accidentally flung a greasy, sauce-soaked piece of garlic bread into the lap of a commander's wife.

When I was first married, I attended every event I could wrangle an invitation to in a desperate attempt to make friends. But in the last few years, I haven't been so enthusiastic.

It's not that I don't enjoy getting together and meeting new people. I do. But underneath it all, I am actually a painfully shy soul trapped in an outgoing body.

We've been here so long. I have been overjoyed these last couple of years to get to know some of the parents at my kids' school. For the first time in a while, I feel like I'm making real friends. These are people I really like, who seem to really like me. I've made civilian friends who are incredibly supportive.

My painfully shy side was making excuses. I don't need to go to this coffee. I have friends and support. I'm busy anyway. Maybe I'll go next month.

But my husband is away now. It's time to kick my painfully shy side in her painfully shy butt and get out there. Besides, a new commander and a new commander's wife mean a whole new beginning and even more people to befriend.

I'm so glad I went.

Being a military wife means being part of a very special community. Our bond is forged in sacrifice, strength and joy. It felt good to be welcomed into a room full of people who understand what I'm going through because they have been there themselves.

My civilian friends will always be very special to me, but I can't forget about my sisters.

My painfully shy self has been sent into time out. I think I can keep her in there for a while.

At least until the next coffee.