My Mantra

When times get tough, I have a mantra that I repeat over and over again in my head.

"I am a military wife. I can do anything."

Now, I don't really think that marrying a military guy automatically makes you a strong person. But I do think that living this lifestyle for years can teach you things about yourself that you never dreamed possible. Being a military wife can make you strong, if you let it.

The hardest times for me aren't really when my husband is deployed for months at a time. I get into a rhythm then. I know that every thing falls to me. I know that I'll be mostly alone. And I know that I will not let my kids be hurt. So I gird my loins, plan like crazy, and ask for help when I need it.

That part about asking for help when I need it has always been the hardest for me.

No, deployments aren't fun but we get through them. We even grow closer as we go.

The hardest part for me is the not knowing. The hardest part for me are those times when we think he'll go away, but we're not sure. I can deal with anything, but I have to know what I'm dealing with.

We're in one of those times right now. He is supposed to deploy this summer, not with his squadron but with an Army unit searching out Improvised Explosive Devices on the ground. But it's up in the air. He should go, but he might not.

I know it sounds crazy, but I'd wish they'd just send him already. Yes I'll be worried about him and I'll miss him like mad. But this waiting and wondering and wishing things would happen a certain way kills me.

Send him or don't. But just tell me already.

So I'm really concentrating on breathing right now. In and out. Over and over. And when I have to, I slip in a, "I am a military wife. I can do anything."

I only wish that I really believed it.